


we all will be together, if the fates allow

by timeladyleo



Series: the knapp-shappey-shipwrights have a horrible christmas! [2]
Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Coma, F/M, Hospitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeladyleo/pseuds/timeladyleo
Summary: It wasn't that serious. She had to keep telling herself that. She had a reputation to maintain.
Relationships: Carolyn Knapp-Shappey/Herc Shipwright
Series: the knapp-shappey-shipwrights have a horrible christmas! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039773
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	we all will be together, if the fates allow

**Author's Note:**

> so this was requested by the lovely arendelve in response to a drabble i did for fictober, so i turned it into this drabble sequence! (the last part is a double drabble)
> 
> turns out i actually knew nothing about comas before this, but i'm delighted to say i've done plenty of googling now - any inaccuracies remain my own. 
> 
> this is, of course, 'have yourself a merry little christmas'

_It’s not that serious._ She had to keep telling herself that. She had a reputation to maintain, even when everything felt like it was falling apart. There had only ever been one person she had shown that face to, and now he was lying there, beeping rhythmically. Eyes closed.

She’d sent the others away. They had been good, bless them, they had stayed all day. But they had things to do, and even though Arthur had been pale and quiet, she’d sent him home to Snoopadoop and bed. She would be okay. And so would Herc. He had to be.

_-_

“Mum?” Carolyn blinked her eyes open to see Arthur tapping her on the arm. He looked so small. “I brought you a tea, but they didn’t have any milk so I tried compensating with sugar, but all the packets were really small and-”

“Arthur,” Carolyn cut him off, trying to smile. “How long have I been asleep?”

“A few hours? I know you said you didn’t want to, but… you just looked really tired.”

“Thank you,” she said, taking the tea from him. His hands were shaking. “It’ll be okay, you know.”

“I know,” said Arthur. But he wasn’t smiling.

-

It was silly to feel silly, she knew that. And worse, if he remembered any of this, it would be embarrassing forever. It didn’t stop it from feeling like she was talking to herself. She could only bring herself to talk to him when no-one else was there, when they were alone and she could take his hand and tell him to stop being such a silly bastard and get better. Tell him how much they all missed him. Loved him, even.

His hands were warm. That was the only thing that reminded her she wasn’t talking to a corpse.

-

“Carolyn, you need to sleep.”

Somehow, snapping back _I’ll sleep when I’m dead_ didn’t feel that funny any more. Carolyn just shrugged. Douglas was right, but she couldn’t leave. How was she meant to go anywhere else?

“We’ll sit with him until you get back. Just go and lie down.” Douglas smiled at her, gently. Firmly. She wanted to fight back and argue so badly, to assert herself like usual, but she was so tired, and Martin and Arthur were looking at her with big, wet eyes.

“Fine,” she said, and left the room for the first time in hours.

-

Even when she wasn’t in the room, she heard the monitor, a metronome in time with her own heart. It had been days now. She wasn’t stupid, she knew the chances slimmed as time marched on. And it had been days. And she wasn’t going to move until it was over, either way.

As long as she could see him, see his chest rise and fall, see the graph of their hearts, then she could let herself hope. That was the mask she was wearing. Certainty. He couldn’t give up on her now. She didn’t know how to bear that.

-

“You didn’t need to come.”

“Of course we did.” Theresa’s eyes said _don’t argue with me_ , and for a change, Carolyn obeyed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said, tiredness stealing the indignance from her voice.

Theresa just smiled. “I know.” She settled beside Carolyn. Martin was entertaining Arthur in the corridor. “We’re all here for you.” Theresa took Carolyn’s hand, her eyes betraying her worry. “No matter what.”

Trust Theresa to be pragmatic at a time like this. She had the training, after all. “Thank you,” Carolyn said, softly, and meaning _I wouldn’t be able to do this without you_.

-

He was asleep again, now. Carolyn watched his eyes flutter, mouth slightly open. Just like usual.

He had managed to sit up, earlier, under the watchful eye of the nurse. Arthur was better at all of this than she ever could be, encouraging and warm, managing to look past the confusion, the moods, the fatigue. Not panicking, not worrying. Just being Arthur.

She just wanted to run, and she hated herself for that.

How had it been easier when he had just been lying there? How could she fall to pieces now, just as he was coming back to them?

-

“I can’t wait to get out of here,” said Herc, shuffling in place. “If only to make you go home.”

“I’ve told them a hundred times, I’m not going, and they can’t make me.” Carolyn fixed him with a firm look.

“I’d feel a lot better if I knew you were looking after yourself.”

“And I’ll feel a lot better when you can stand up without help. I’m not going, that’s final.”

Herc lifted his hand to cup her cheek, smiling. She placed her own over his, leaning into the touch, holding onto his warmth in case it tried to slip away again.

“You look tired,” he said, quietly.

“You can hardly talk,” said Carolyn, opening her eyes to raise an eyebrow.

“I’ve been in a coma! I think that gives me a pass.”

“For now,” Carolyn said, letting him lower his hand, but refusing to let go, resting it on her knee. “I’ll sleep when I know you’re coming home.”

Herc opened his mouth, but Carolyn interrupted, “I missed you, Herc. I don’t want to lose you.”

Herc hesitated, eyes shining. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re here. I love you.”

Carolyn kissed his hand and breathed out, at last.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr, [sircarolyn](http://sircarolyn.tumblr.com/).


End file.
